


The End of the World

by Post_U_Later



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, End of the World, Fear Pepper, Tony's a coward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9098470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Post_U_Later/pseuds/Post_U_Later
Summary: December 21st, 2012 is supposed to be the end of the world. Some believe it & some don't. What do the Avengers think? Well, some are believers, some are skeptics, some don't really care, & some have more important & scary things to worry about than thinking about the end of the world. CrackFic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This Was From Way Back In 2012 When Everyone Thought The World Was Gonna End. 
> 
> Disclaimer~ Nope Not Mine. The Idea For The Bunker Is Mine Though. I Think It Would Just Be Cool To Have One Around To Hide In. ;D

 

**_The End of the World_ **

**~2,218~**

Steve had just stepped outside the Avenger mansion for a bit of fresh air since it was such a lovely day. Really, it was completely innocent. The first thing he saw after stepping outside was a large, metal, square-looking thing sticking out of the ground. Tony was on top with a welding gun, wearing a wife beater, jeans, and a welding mask. Steve had no intention of being pulled into anything or get in anyones way, but really, how could he not ask?

 

"Uh… Tony?" Steve asked warily. "What are you doing?"

 

Tony obviously hadn't heard him from where he was, so Steve walked closer and asked again.

 

"Hey, Tony!" Steve called, and continued when Tony looked up at him. "What are you doing?"

 

Tony lifted his welding mask and looked at Steve with the most serious look Steve had ever seen,and that was saying something. Steve was now a bit worried about what, in fact, Tony was building.

 

"I'm building a safe house." Tony said.

 

"A... safe house?" Steve asked in confusion. "What for?"

 

"December 21st." Tony answered and pulled his mask back down and continued welding.

 

Steve just stood there in confusion, staring at Tony as he worked. Steve just had to be missing something: December 21st was tomorrow. What was so special with it? Steve stood there trying to figure out what he was missing for nearly twenty minutes before Thor and Natasha came out to see where Steve had gone.

 

"What is he doing?" Natasha asked with a slightly raised eyebrow as she also saw the large metal contraption.

 

"He said he's building a safe house." Steve replied, still as confused as ever.

 

"A House of Safety? What for?" Thor boomed.

 

"December 21st?" Steve said, more as a question.

 

Thor and Natasha looked at each other for a second before laughing. Steve was even more confused than before, which he had thought was completely impossible.

 

"The Man of Iron is a believer?" Thor boomed in laughter.

 

"I didn't think Stark was so gullible." Natasha smirked.

 

"What's so special about December 21st?" Steve asked. "Is something going on tomorrow?"

 

Natasha and Thor stopped laughing and turned to Steve.

 

"The world is supposedly, going to end tomorrow." Natasha said. "The Mayan calendar ends, so they people think the world's going to end."

 

"That's stupid." Steve deadpanned.

 

"I know." Natasha chuckled. "But some really believe it. And apparently Tony is one of them."

 

"Nonetheless, I am heading to the gym." Thor said, turning and going back into the mansion. "Inform us on how the Man of Iron's House of Safety turns out."

 

Thor and Natasha disappeared back into the mansion and Steve grabbed a lawn chair and watched as Tony build his safe house that was supposed to save him from the end of the world.

 

An hour later Tony came down from the top of the ten foot tall metal cube and walked over to Steve with a smile.

 

"It's done." Tony said excitedly. "Want to see what it looks like inside?"

 

"Tony, just so you know, the world isn't going to-" Steve started, but was interrupted by Bruce and Clint walking out and calling to them.

 

"Hey guys! What's up?" Clint called out as they joined them in the back yard.

 

"Uh Tony?" Bruce asked, pointing to the 'Safe house'. "What is that thing?"

 

"It a safe house for tomorrow." Tony said. "I just finished it. Want to see the inside?"

 

"Hell yeah!" Clint exclaimed, seeming super excited. "This is sweet! The 21st Is a big day."

 

"Yeah it is. I don't want to die." Tony said, turning back into Bruce and Steve. "You two coming in?"

 

"Sure." Bruce shrugged and Steve simply nodded.

 

"Do you believe in the end of the world on the tomorrow?" Steve asked Bruce quietly.

 

"No, but if it does happen, isn't it good to have a place prepared?" Bruce asked and Steve nodded. "And its kept Tony busy for the last week."

 

"I see what you mean." Steve said, now noticing that Tony hadn't been bugging and annoying them for the last few days. "But isn't this a bit over... the... top...?"

 

Steve lost his thoughts as they entered the large metal square. The walls were easily 5 feet thick and the door lead to a simple stare case that went down. They walked for a long time, almost a full 5 minutes before they finally reached the bottom.

 

"Welcome to my safe house!" Tony said, spreading his arms out and opening the door.

 

They walked into a large room that was the size of a large gymnasium. Though that was only a small part of the underground structure. There were tables along one wall of the room, holding random objects: Blankets, water bottles, cans of food, flashlights, rope, pillows, computers, small devices that looked like Game Boys and DS's. Name pretty much anything needed to survive the end of the world and it was on those tables. There were several fridges throughout the room, and more tables with pieces of metal scattered across them: probably Tony's many projects. Dummy, You, and Butterfinger's had been moved down there, and it was obvious that JARVIS was downloaded in the structure as well, as when they reached the bottom the lights automatically turned on.

 

"Wow." Clint said in awe. "This is amazing!"

 

"I know." Tony said looking proud. "This will defend against even a strike from a dozen hydrogen bombs. I started building it when I first found out."

 

"You're dedicated." Clint said and took a look around.

 

Steve and Bruce simply looked around and kept their mouths shut. They thought it was ridiculous. Sure the world was supposed to end, but seriously, this was over board. Unless he was planning to keep a small town in here, it was way to big. And they couldn't even see all of it. There were doors on one of the far walls leading somewhere and they wouldn't be surprised if they led to rooms just as big as this one was. They turned and walked over to where Tony was describing what all the stuff on the table was for.

 

"Well, I don't know how long I'll be down here for, it could be a week, a month or longer. In the back room I have a garden that grows some vegetables and I've hooked up JARVIS to it so he can take care of it." Tony said, pointing to one door. "I've got an entire room full of food packets that are just add water and it's done. Then, I've got a room with a 10 thousand gallon water tank that's full. For showers and food and just to drink. I've also got filters so I can catch rain water if I ever run low."

 

"This is brilliant." Clint said in awe.

 

Clint was shocked. How had they not known about this? He was a firm believer, and he was just going to go to SHIELD and stay there until the end of the world. Tony had even moved his _suits_ down here, and none of them had even notice!

 

"Well, Pepper's going to show up tomorrow, so I better get the last little things ready." Tony said shooing them back towards the entrance door. "Out you go!"

 

They exited the safe house(it felt a bit inadequate to call it that since it was the size of a motel) and went back into the mansion. Natasha and Thor joined them and they watched as Tony grabbed several things from his room and work shop, taking many trips. It took about an hour for them to get bored of watching Tony play the pack mule, so they decided to watch some TV. Except for Clint, he had gone straight to his room to begin packing his stuff.

 

The next day, early in the morning: around 5am, Clint was waiting on the back porch with several suitcases, a rolled up sleeping bag, and a backpack, ready to enter the structure that would protect him from the end of the world. Natasha, Steve, and Bruce were sitting on the couch, wanting to watch Tony and Clint disappear into the underground fortress. Thor was still asleep: it was far too early for him to be up, besides, if it really was the end of the world, he'd just call Heimdall to beam him back to Asgard. Tony came out of his room and gave Clint an odd look.

 

"What are you doing Legolas?" Tony asked in confusion. "What's all this stuff? You moving?"

 

"What? No." Clint answered. "I got all my stuff ready to put it in the safe house."

 

"And why would I let you put your stuff in there?" Tony laughed.

 

"I kinda want my stuff while I'm in there." Clint said, sounding confused.

 

"And what makes you think I'd allow you to stay in there with me?" Tony asked, both amused and confused.

 

"You're not?" Clint sounded surprised. "You're just going to let me die?"

"And why would you die?" Tony asked, baffled by what Clint said.

 

"You know. The end of the world?" Clint said and Tony stared at him like he was dumb.

"You're an idiot." Tony deadpanned. "The world isn't going to end."

 

"What?!" Clint said, eyes going wide.

 

The rest of the group were listening to their conversation from their spots on the couch.

 

"Then what's that bunker for?" Natasha asked.

 

"My safe house?" Tony asked, seeing why they thought what they did. "No that's for my protection."

 

"If it's not from the end of the world, then what's it protecting you from?" Bruce asked.

 

"Pepper." Ton said straight faced.

 

"...Pepper." Steve said, making sure he had heard that right.

 

"Yes, Pepper." Tony said irritatedly. "Every year, on the third Friday of December: TODAY, Pepper brings me literally a truck load of paperwork to do. Mostly accounting work and papers I need to sign, and it takes me literally the rest of December to do them." Tony shuddered. "I get a break on Christmas, but if I haven't finished at least half of them by the 25th, then I don't get my presents. Which is totally not fair by the way. This year I don't care what she got me, even if her presents are the best. So since February, I've been secretly constructing this safe house."

 

"Seriously?" Bruce said, not really believing what he was being told. "That massive room was simply to hide from Pepper?"

 

"Yep, who knows how long I'll be down there for." Tony said. "If you guys need Iron Man, sorry, but he'll be out of commission for awhile."

 

" _Sir, Miss Potts has just drove through the front gates._ " JARVIS's smooth british voice trilled though the room. " _Her car is being followed by a U-Haul truck. From my scans, it is bigger than last years._ "

 

"Oh shit!" Tony exclaimed, his eyes wide with fear. "I got to go. Don't bother trying to enter, you can't without my passwords and there's no override codes. Later!"

 

With that Tony ran outside and opened the metal door, slamming it shut behind him. Large metal pipes covering the door, so no one could get in. A minute later Pepper walked in, looking furious and determined: she was a woman on a mission.

 

"Where is he?" Pepper asked the group. "Where is Tony?"

 

Clint deftly raised his arm and pointed to the totally out of place, large, metal block sitting in the middle of the back yard: definitely not the best place Tony could have put it. Pepper threw the back door open, the glass cracking as it slammed into the wall, and she marched up to the metal door and started to pound on it.

 

"TONY! TONY! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!" Pepper yelled, slammer his small fist on the the door.

 

The team would swear that a mad Pepper was worse than a mad Natasha in some ways.

 

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK! I WILL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF THREE!" Pepper yelled. "IF YOU ARE NOT OUT HERE BY THEN I WILL RUN YOUR CORPORATION INTO THE GROUND AND LEAK YOUR REACTOR BLUEPRINTS TO SHIELD AND EVEN HAMMER! THEN I'LL HANG YOU BY YOUR BALLS AND PLUCK EACH AND EVERY LAST HAIR OUT OF YOUR PRECIOUS GOATEE ONE AT A TIME!"

 

See, scarier than Natasha.

 

"How long do you think he'll last?" Bruce asked the group.

 

"5 dollars says he'll last till two." Clint bet.

 

"10 says he's out before she even done saying three." Steve said.

 

"He'll last till one then burst though the door at the last second." Natasha said. "50 bucks."

 

"I'll bet you $100 he doesn't come up out all." Bruce said.

 

The group turned to look at him in surprise, Bruce didn't usually bet money.

 

"Deal." They all said and took out their hundreds and set them on the coffee table.

 

" **3!** " Pepper screamed.

 

"Darn." Steve said.

 

" **2!** " Pepper stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

 

"Crap." Clint said when Tony didn't come out.

 

" **1!** " Pepper was looking rather furious.

 

"Damn." Natasha said, slightly disappointed.

 

" **ZERO!** " Pepper yelled, her entire face turned dark red. "DAMN YOU TONY! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!"

 

Pepper turned around and stormed back into the house, the team quickly moving out of her way, and she left out the front door, slamming it so hard behind her that the frame splintered a little. The group turned from the broken front door, to the metal block in the back yard, to Bruce who had sat down on the couch. He was counting the money he'd just won: $400.

 

"Okay, how'd you know that Tony wouldn't come out?" Clint asked.

 

Bruce looked up them with a smirk.

 

"It's very simple, really." Bruce said vaguely.

 

"Can you skip the secrecy part and just tell us?" Steve asked.

 

"Fine." Bruce said, pulling out his wallet and putting the $400 away. "The entire thing is sound proof."

 

"What?" Natasha said.

 

"Even if Thor yelled at the top of his lungs, I doubt Tony would hear it." Bruce stood up and headed towards the front door. "Well, bye guys, I'm going to the mall, I need some new pants. Later!"

 

The group watch Bruce leave in shock. Then Clint summed up everyone's thoughts in two simple words.

 

"Well fuck."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope You Guys Liked! XD


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